This past week was difficult to say the least.
In previous semesters I have gotten the majority of my quality studio work time Friday-Sunday. This, however, is much more difficult to do when you work 16 hours over the weekend and want to do nothing more than sleep in Friday mornings.
I go to class and do work Monday through Thursday, sleep in Friday morning, wake up consumed with guilt over not being in the studio working, get a few solid hours in, and work Saturday and Sunday (all the while still feeling that crippling guilt over working a menial job when I should be in the studio working on that thing that totally needs to get done this week).
It’s really not great for my mental health, I’m already burnt out.
Despite that fact returning to the studio Monday morning brings with it a certain joy (with, of course, the underlying anxiety that I will not finish all my work). I feel relieved that I can finally stop planning to do work and actually get something done. At my job I am constantly fighting an uphill battle trying to just maintain things and get frustrated that nothing ever actually gets accomplished (other than earning the too-small wages which I really do need if I want to move west after graduation).
But, still, there aren’t enough hours in the day and the cycle continues with me stressing about the next deadline I have to meet.
But, as the White Stripes so articulately put it, I’m being like the squirrel, girl. I’m breaking my problems into bits and trying to deal with them one at a time.
Problem is it feels like an overwhelming pile of acorns.
But today was pretty productive.
We have a bottle project in my wheel throwing class, requiring 10 similar bottles with some sort of unifying theme. I finished throwing the basic bottles today. My idea is to make stoppers for them all, each featuring a sculpted building so that when the bottles are lined up they create a cityscape.
(I haven’t decided if I want to re-throw a few for being too different from the rest. The collection of ones off to the right is the rejects-all too tall or too short as I didn’t measure them while I was throwing)
I also got a load in to bisque fire today so new exciting things should be out soon.
I also got some time to reevaluate my paintings. Basically I decided all were crap and needed to be painted over.
So I started over completely on two. The other I might paint over soon. Depends on how things progress.
I really hope my professor didn’t actually think I could finish a series of three paintings in a week.
All of which clearly need a lot more work.
Spring break needs to hurry up.