I feel like May sort of crept up on me this year.
Normally the excitement of my birthday and the beautiful weather spring always brings make me long for May but this year I don’t think I flipped the page on my calendar until May 5th.
And, of course, when I did I was reminded of the overwhelming amounts of things I need to do written in red pen.
But, surprisingly, I’m not horribly worried.
This time of year is when all the students you forgot were in your class all semester finally come out of the woodwork and complain about pulling all-nighters to get their work done in time for critiques. I, on the other hand, am the tortoise who has been working her ass off the entire semester.
So, you know, suck it hares.
(But really I do still have a lot to do).
Classes are really winding down now. We are now in our last pose for my figure painting class but here are the past two poses (one day and two day, respectively).
In class on Monday I realized I had no extra canvases around and didn’t see the point in buying a new one for our last pose so I painted over the study from the first week. Looking at these pictures I can definitely see a great improvement from where I was when I did my first figure study. I mean, I’m still not particularly good, but I feel more confident and feel like I’m on track to getting better.
(Also, I felt painting my last study for the semester over the one from the first day had a nice sort of poetic symmetry to it).
As for the rest of my work, I’ve just been plowing on. For my show I’ve decided to include my teapots and my animal paintings and hopefully one of my videos. I’ve been a machine the past couple of weeks, just making as many ceramic pieces as I can so I have a few to choose from for my final show.
I even ordered postcards for my show this week.
(So, you know, I’m gonna be legit)
I designed them so the full image is on the front and in the info on the back. Hope they turn out well considering how much I payed to have them printed.
Outside of school, real life is starting to force its way into the forefront of my mind.
Yesterday I bought my one-way ticket to San Francisco leaning mid-June. No backing out now, I’m moving. Once I got my flight confirmation I went through a quick progression of strong emotions from really excited to having a panic attack about the fact that I’m leaving everything I know to live in a city I’ve only visited once. My parents don’t seem to happy about the move but, to be honest, I think I need this. I’ve been living here in Newark for 5 years now and before that 18 years in the same house in Maryland. I have the safety net of the University and the knowledge that my family is only two hours away. I think it would be good for me to test myself to see if I really can make it on my own once I forcefully fling myself out of the nest.
But, of course, it’s not helping my anxiety. There’s always the looming fear that I won’t be able to find a job or a job that will be able to pay the bills. I’ve been consistently sending out applications, cover letters, resumes, and emails begging artists to take me on as an assistant but no one wants to hire me. And what if I can’t find a place to live? I’m staying with my friend when I first get there but can’t allow myself to mooch off him for too long. What if I actually hate living there? What if I hate my job? What if I am so busy trying to stay afloat financially that I can’t continue making art?
But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
As a nice break from my miniature panic attacks though my parents came up to meet me in Baltimore on my birthday this past weekend. We went to the American Visionary Art Museum, always an interesting place.
A covertly snapped photo of one of the kinetic sculptures (they don’t allow photography).
Unfortunately we went one day shy of their annual kinetic sculpture race where the museum always features a giant pink poodle named Fifi. It was a good time anyway though.
And, of course, they had some great funhouse mirrors.
And got my “fortune” told by Zoltar.
(I didn’t turn into an adult overnight though, I think he was broken.)
This Friday, members of the UD Ceramics community (including myself) will be having an End of Semester Pottery Sale!
The sale will be from 11-6 in the courtyard behind Recitation Hall (Right off Main Street, Newark, DE). Come! Tell Your friends! Buy all of my pottery because I can’t take it to California!